Loving herself a little more

2009-11-02T07:19:00.001-08:00

examas are over. the super torture that i had. worse than O level i think. haha... sschool resume today again...

well.. suddenly got so many tots about him. even i dreamt about him. i just don know why, and i have not seen and talk to him so long. i feel that when someone become famous or better looking or nicer, one will feel that she missed that very chance. Indeed last time i was superb childish but well its over for so many years. and i can't believe you are still my last. Sometimes i tried recalling back, nothing in my memories. I only rememeber bits and pieces of it. Izzit good or bad.

Loving someone does not mean that you need to have that person. if that person is happy so do you will be happy.

To zb. although ure nick says you will never smile. look on the bright side and i am sure you can overcome the darkness..

I suddenly want the other half of the apple.

2009-10-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

going to the temple tmrw casue its the last '7', which means its the 49 days. the last time i gonna see her big photo at that area.
Its been 54 days since i last see her. i really miss my ah ma so much..

I miss calling 'ah ma'
I miss the one who help me turn on the heater when raning days. Nowdays have been bathing under cold water.
I miss her cooking porridge for me, today is my first time cooking the not cook porridge from my maid, first time frying onion egg.
I miss the one who always listen to me complaining whenever i come home
I miss her calling me
I miss her 'tok tok' sound when she is eating
I miss bringing her to the doctor
I miss nagging at her and she nagging at me
I miss her saying that i wear this dress very pretty, ugly,fat
I miss her always saying that i buy too many things until my room got no space
I miss her protecting and supporting me
I miss her telling me to come home for dinner casue she cooking my fav salty duck soup
I miss her complaning that i awalys eat out
I miss every single thing....

Lurvvess ya...

2009-10-14T05:46:00.000-07:00

Well it is the study with and project week for the upcoming exams and project deadline. Super addicted to Fb game especially Cafe world.. haha.. Also, busy watching the new taiwan show.. its so nice and sweet. the male lead in this show is so super handsome especially wehn he smile.. Cool guys smile always so mesmerising

A msn conversation with him today.
.
.
.
HE: do you know i have been waiting for u
HE: I know you have a phobia of getting in a relationship, but i can wait
ME: We just cannot be together, there is no feel at all. And you are not the type of guy i am looking for
HE: feelings can slowly developed.
HE: I can pamper you. I am finacially stable with a career and car etcc...
ME: SO?
HE: i can buy what you want for you. Give you $1000 monthly as 'Jia Yong' and cover all your expenses.
ME: mmm.. so is this consideer a transaction
.....

Weell... i always feel feelings are still important. It is a little hard to develop when everything from the start is a negative. I appreciate it, but seriously please take my words. find another girl and i am sure you will have a happily ever after ending with the girl.
As what i said, i can be single for 5 years, and i can be for the next 5 years.

Recently, saw jw in one of the event website. memories recalled...

2009-10-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

Its the month of OCTOBER!! the busy busy month. Busy hugging my notes and textbook other than playing.... JIAYOU keren...

Went clubbing at Obar & Dblo last friday. Was really FUN & HIGH. haha.Went with dan, patsy, heng,patricia and her hubby. It was supposedly a drinking session at Obar. in the end it turn out to be a clubbing session. Karen just want to dance away the night with the music. We ordered a bottle of chivas. First time that we use only 2 jugs of mixer. GOOD JOB. hehe... This outing was supposedly to cheer patsy up. And guess what she is drunk and by the time sheris left, she is already lying down at the sofa. She didn't really know what she did after that. BUT! we didn't went back yet, we went to Dblo can carry on.. Whooohoo... The alcohol that night made us super blurred... when i went to the counter to buy Vegabomb, i'm a little lost.. hehehe.. but i do enjoy that night...

Looking forward to our next party at Butterfactory. hear its the most happening place...

Finally completed the Post YEP expedition today. Quite a successful one i think. 24 children turn up for our 'Tree are Alive' program. The teaching team taught for the first our. Followed by gg out to Punggol park to do Art & Craft. the children have to pick up leaves and do an art piece out with then theme 'Trees are Alive'. I would say the 3 kids in my grp is quite obedient. We onli clap and said 'Its over' during our debrief. Finally the whole project is done. the first project that spend so much time iin it. Indeed i learn alot of things from it. GOOD JOB peeps..

4 more school days.....

2009-09-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

hmmm... well well... went to Sim Lim Square today. first time spend time walking there from level to level. And can find a lot of things. Bought my printer ink, skin my laptop tooo.... saw lots of nice nice stuff, but i am not a IT geek.

well exams are coming and with 2 project deadlines too.. and i think my panda eyes will be back soon.

JIAYOU karen!

misses u

2009-09-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

long weekend.... and going back to school on Tuesday. it has been so long since i have lesson at 8.30am. Saw the first topic of Managerial Finance, and i wanna conclude that it is not as easy as the one i learn in SP.

Had a really funny dream yest night.

2009-09-16T05:05:00.000-07:00

make my way to the temple today to see my ah ma.
tot i wont cry, but i end up crying..

misses

2009-09-15T04:31:00.000-07:00

when i close my eyes, i recall everything.
when i see the sky, it is never as pretty as that day. The clouds that day were beautiful and the sky is clear.

I MISS U

2009-09-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

My beloved ah ma left me on 29 August 2009. She left without telling me anything. I only spoke to her less than 5s that very day. She chose the most cruel way to leave this world, till now i cannot believe she left in this way.
Whenever i close my eyes, i can forsee the way she die. It must be very painful. I chose to pluck up my courage to see her body in the mountary room. It is very sad that all relatives cannot see her the last time casue the coffin was closed.
I kept on remembering the way she look after me, the way she call me etc..

Always i know that with her leaving me one day, i will sure break down. Sometimes till now i still cannot believe that she really left me. Sometimes i just hope she could call me again.. Always one will have regret.... Probably in life i have not meet such a great impact. its a really big impact on me.

Its like a big change in life. everyday come home, i wont get to call ah ma, nobody to hear me complain, nobody to call me when i am not home, noboday to say that i always celebrating cny with new clothes, nobody cooks for me, nobody cover the blanket for me, nobody wakes me up, nobody protect me, nobody for me to sa jiao.

I REALLY MISS U!

2009-08-21T04:18:00.001-07:00

she took a wrong step
she believe the wrong thing
she hates the feeling now
she regretted
she missed the stop
she is stupid
she is like a clown
she doesn't believe
she don want to believe
she hates
she don love
she wants an U turn
she wants the sun
she wants the smile
she wants time machine
she says no more next time

=(

2009-07-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

Completed my job scope at Capitaland Clarke Quay on 26 June 2009. Was fun working there with lots of valuable experience.

The long planning process of Agape Hope Project have ended. It ended with a full stop, a very big and thick fullstop. Although we met with obstacles during the service, but the team face the problem with a smile on everyone face. We not only impact those in the community but also the kids, their families and most importantly US. Although it's just 14days for this trip. I miss the kids there, miss their smiles and innocent look on their face. Whenever i look at their picture at my desk, i will feel contented with everything around me.
The things that we did during the 14 days seems to be alot. We did shopping, sightseeing, conquering flights of stairs, lots of eating, lots of walking, lots of singing, lots of picture taking, lots of dancing, lots of lughters, lots of tears, lots of fun. Everything adds up to a big picture that will be printed in everyone's heart.
Termination is a very sad process.....

All the fun has ended with the commencement of school this week.

2009-05-17T04:12:00.000-07:00

hmmm... everything in life seem sailing smoothly. but its just that family matters just don sail smoothly. The only thing that makes my eyes filled with tears.

Vocalno erupted today. Or maybe should i say it erupted AGAIN! I tot it was something minor and i did not want to show face. In the end i got to get out of bed to see what is happening. What i can say is that both parties have their wrongs and i don wanna go into detail. sometimes some things cannot go tell the older ppl. They will think super far and get very upsetted about it. And she tot of dying etc. Arrrggghh.. well i just can't do anything and i'm totally unhappy being surrounded by the 4 walls. Its a total misery living in this situation, seeing no future to it. I start to give up hopes on people surrounding me.

Well. luckily i got a job. Need not stay home whole day. Sometimes i wish i was working at retail line, so that i can work 7 days a week. Last time working at cloud9, can avoid the disaster during weekends.

I can't change anything...

2009-05-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Karen is not working full time since the start of may. Right now at Liang court for 3 days events. Going to Dan church for meeting later. its at Geylang. haha

went for my photo shoot last tuesays. Not easy to pose though. But hte photos are nice. And i spend a BOMB. haha. awaiting for the photos.

went kayaking iwth patsy last thursday. First time kayaking in singapore. And we still went all he way to bedok reservoir to kayak. Then to East coast for tea break then back to tampines 1. A fruitful day. And at the end of the day we came out with a $50 game. See who can survive. Actually u think of it sometimes. Not easy to just spend 50 bucks even thugh there's no shopping. haha. So we got to buy everything before this sunday. Whoohoo...

Join some volunteering group. Since i;m free, thought of like helping he others. Spend so much time working, slacking, studying. so i guess should help the community since i can do it now =)

Karen wants to go swimmin! =)

2009-04-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

Nowadays waking up early in the morning has been a torutre. Just don know why got so much difficulty to wake up though i spend my weekend sleeping at home to recharge my energy. And also been a good girl going home after work from mon to wed to recharge my energy. Yet... haha.. i'm just a pig!

Still workin in the company. with the same work scope and working aimlessly. haha. p04 quarterly review this sat. But am just going to the BBQ at pasir ris.. soo far from my haijun. haha.

Right now only got SIM letter of offer which is what i expected too. So looking forward to recieve other school offer. But the chance seem low. well well at least i got a school to go back and study. Walking to office from the train station. Saw some students doing donation. and they are from SP!!! omg. i did that in 2005 which is 4 years ago. Time flies.

And Karen has officially turn 21. Not much feeling though but really appreciate my friends and families who are there with me during my celebration. Especially the girls who dance during my bday. Love ya!

2009-03-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

5 days off was so great. spend my time playing viwawa with my sister. And i cook and wash at her place. haha.

Back to work tmrw. There will be a discussion. hmmm.. dragging myself back there.

A big news from shewris shock patsy. well well. life still goes on whenever there's a decision made. Sometime don overlook the person who is the closest to you. you will never know HE IS the ONE!

Send oout my invite card yesterday for my bday celebration.Whoo.. Kindda excited about it. Next saturday, 4th April. Please coommeee...

2009-03-16T21:15:00.001-07:00

I tot no more hospital visits. and well. yesterday my sister got admitted into hospital casue of the back prob. She felt so pain that she had difficulty in walking. Haiz.. everything not going smoothly. Even for myselft, I falling sick.

Starting to prepare for my bday party. suddenly got so many ppl to invite and yet space constriant. Don know to inivite who too. haha.. If wanan invite my sec school friends like alot liddat. And still have the current company ppl. Hmmm.. Luckily got my mummy to sponsor casue the bill like kept gg higher and higher. haha. And still thinking after the dinner wanna go party ma. haha.

Keren =)

Singapore Entertainment Award 2009

2009-03-08T05:39:00.000-07:00

Went to the Singapore Entertainment Award 2009 yesterday at the Marina Floating Platform. Queue started at 5pm. Slowly we got into the area and get a seat at the yellow sector. No outside food and drinks are allowed.Our drinks got confiscated and luckily i manage to sneak my subway in. haha. Karen saw a rainbow yesterday.Saw lots of singers yesterday. My 2 idols are there too. Xiao Zhu & Ling Feng!!! sooo handsome and cute. haha.. There are other singers too like Stephanie Sun, Energey, He Wei Jian, Aska, Oliva Ong, JJ Lin etc.. There are many fan clubs there too to support their idol. But when Xiao Zhu came out, everyone was like shouting and screaming. And his english really cannot make it. He even brought his dancers from Taiwan to Singapore to perform that night. so COOL! I guess lots of fans will be like stationing outside Marina Mandrin to catch a glimpse of their idol.

2009-03-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

Don't like what is happening in life now. Totally bad. People do change, people around me changes rapidly, and i cannot hold on to it. I want to stop my steps or slower it down. But a little tough.

Well.... i'm isolating and emoing....

She miss you.

2009-02-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. karen got a job and is working now casue her wishlist is getting longer and longer.

Well. today send my maid back home.send her to the airport this morning. she felt remorseful and said sorry to us. well. what is done is done. just hope she learn from mistake. And after seeing her enter, we left. we recieve a call from airport saying she did not board the flight at about 12pm while her flight is schedule to leave about 1215. Luckily they manage to find her and put her in the plane. luckily otherwise we don know what are we gonan do. Hmmm.. a little awkard when she left.. haha

Went to Ehub to watch Marley & Me with jie. nice and touching movie! Then we went to aranda country club to check out the room casue karen is celebrating her 21st bday. We went to like a few places at downtown east as well as thomson area to check it out. Had a long long day.

Tmrw also a long long day. But it was great and fun. Tmrw going to bukit timah area for fish spa then to pick my new maid.

Hope next week work will be great for me.

190209

2009-02-19T05:50:00.000-08:00

Well Well.. Hospital is my fav destination this week i guess. Brought mum to hospital today for her eyelid operation. Conflict arise today too. sianz. Why are some ppl liddat. Can't she just open her heart bigger, being more friendly. I really hate her so much, but yet sometimes i pity her. I really don like this way, why must things turn out to be so sour and nasty.

Next, probably need to bring my ah ma to hospital tmrw, cause she got serious shitting problem. and got to bring my mum back to the eye center for follow up. Haizzz..

Patsy is going Bintan alone.

When for interview today, not bad an interview with a quiz at the start. The CEO of this company is only 28 years old. OMG.. super young.. haha..

Heartache

2009-02-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

Seeing someone who cooks for you, who care for you, who share the same room as you, who worry for you, at this moment i'm really really very sad and heartache. Although come and go is a theory in life. It's easier to say than done though.

Looking at her day by day, weaker and weaker, older and older.

Looking at her telling me how her money should be divided.

Looking at her now, i cannot stand up strongly and don really hope for anything great

2009-02-05T03:42:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to appreciate peaceful and silence life.

She is feeling down, sad and worried.
Karen got the urge to go back and study. haha.

CNY

2009-01-30T21:17:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everybody!

Its the chinese new year season. Every year Chinese New Year has been like a routine. People come and go with 2 oranges and ang bao. Some people only get to see once a year. I could forsee the same questions people will ask every year. Sianz.

Went to watch the wedding game on tuesday. Nice and funny show. Surprisingly there were a lot of people at the cathay. We went to have steamboat on thurs at Novena with heng and fatty. And dear dan say she wore very nice yest and she was very sad wanna go out. So we went party world for K. Before that me and patsy went to The Pasta Shop by Sakae at Wheelock. The waiter was serving me ice water. He was facing me with 4 glasses in the tray. He got unbalance and spill the water onto patsy. Poor her. And karen become suay too. While walking to Party World she kanna bird shit. Sobssss....

No wonder she don feel right these few days...

2009-01-11T06:13:00.000-08:00

Its been one week since i'm back from China. Suffer from serious sore throat and headache. That time when i went China, I also lost my voice when i'm back in Singapore. I guess the food there don suit me. hehe. Was like a dead person for 2 days in bed. Walking less than 10 steps. And i'm slowly getting used to the weather here..

Went out with Patsy yesterday. Went Sheraton towers for high tea then shopping. So many people shopping! Its difficult to shop during weekends. Went to SongFa Bak Kut Teh for dinner then to Arena to finish her birthday bottle of tequilla. She really drank most of it since its one of her birthday present. And i totally hate the taste of the mexico tequilla. By the time we finish, she was swaying left and right. Well cab back and she had a serious hangover today.

Went to SSC(Sembawang Shopping Center) today. Newly renovated with lots of new shops. There's Cotton On, MOF, fish & co., Daiso etc. So many changes, i think 3 times! haha

Spending my time watching 心花朵朵开 2 from mobtv then i wanna watch 小娘惹.

Chinese New Year is coming!! Whoohoo.. And i hate to do spring cleaning though..

Keren feels that she lost something...........

Winter Holiday Day 12

2008-12-30T04:46:00.000-08:00

It has been 12 days since i came to China. Today is my last day in Zhenjiang. I'm gonna take the 8.33am train to Shanghai. 1.5hr trip from here. I will be staying at Shanghai for 5D4N.

We took bus2 to Jin Shan Shi today. Another BIG temple!

My sis book the countdown party at Hyatt Hotel for tmrw. Per person its RMB600. For whatI know its a pub but at the top level of the hotel. If there is fireworks, it gonna be really pretty! Everyone says there Shanghai is super happening with nightlife. And for what i know the Xin Tian Di is somewhere like our clarke quay. hehe.

Well well. Everyone do have their very own party tmrw. Keren wishes all her friends and darlings a very HAPPY NEW YEAR. Enjoy the last day of 2008 as well as the first day of 2009! Love ya!!!

Winter Holiday Day 8

2008-12-28T07:21:00.000-08:00

I went to Suzhou on Saturday.
A very pretty place. I love the buildings there, very authentic. The nice weather, pretty scenery and buildings make the whole place so perfect and wonderful. We paid RMB150 bucks per person to tour around Suzhou. Its better to have a tour guide, so that there's someone there to explain to us.

loves keren =)

Winter Holiday Day 6 & 7

2008-12-25T01:44:00.000-08:00

A peaceful Christmas eve and Christmas day in Zhenjiang.

Went to Pizza hut for Christmas eve dinner yesertday. So many people in the city, and we waited for an hour for seats. Surprisingly, people here do celebrate christmas. All resturants are like fully book and the roads are filled with people and cars. Had a sumptuous pizza dinner. WEnt back to the hotel at about 10pm and i start watching my lan qiu huo over my 平安夜!

Today its CHRISTMAS! I wish everyone Merry Christmas!
At the Rich Coffee Shop since 2pm till now. Just Pay RMB25 a got free flow of drinks, tibits, ice cream and got wireless too! And they played christmas songs too. I LOVE christmas songs... Jingle bell jingle bell... lalalla....... Gonna have dinner soonn..

I'm going to SuZhou tmrw and to Nanjing again on Saturday. The train tickets that we bought are all first class. hehehehe.

I miss partying with my friends. Patsy went around carolling with dan on the eve of christmas. Something NEW! and they went partying tooo.....

2008-12-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

Nanjing 1 day trip

Winter Holiday Day 5

2008-12-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

Winter Holiday - Day 5 - NanJing

Took the 7.55am CRH train to Nanjing. The train is similar to those i took in Taiwan to other city. It took us about 30min to Nanjing city. We went to take thier MRT. Most trip is RMB2. So cheap. And the train got only 1 line with like less than 15 station. We went to a few tourit attraction. First we went to the Nanjing Xuanwu Lake. We took a buggy to travel around the place. Super cold la, the wind kept blowing at us. Next we went to Fu Zhi Miao. I thought its just a temple, but it turn out not only a temple but a big shopping area. And the surrounding are very olden days. We went into this shop to buy some local delights. Practically the whole shope sell lots of duck stuff from duck wing to tongue to heart to leg to the whole duck in a vaccum pack. And around Nanjing, almost all the food places sell duck related stuff. haha. But didn't get to try my fav duck soup.

We went to their city like our Orchard Road. Went alking around. Their shopping center super big la. Each level is like a maze. We saw Ajisen Ramen, Breaktalk, Subway, Singapore Laksa, Bee Cheng Hiang Bakkua. I had subway for dinner...

We went chasing for the 7.15pm train.... Running during cold weather is super tired...

Winter Holiday Day 3- ZhenJiang

2008-12-23T04:53:00.000-08:00

Winter Holiday Day 3- ZhenJiang

The Reciept that i wont RMB 5 bucks.. haha

So cute right.. All the kids here wear these clothes and they lookso adorable and like Japanese Sumo

Her funny hair

Yummy Yummy!! Its Pizza from Pizza Hut

Weather Forecast

2008-12-21T04:30:00.000-08:00

The super cold weather

Winter Holiday Day 2 & 3

2008-12-21T04:05:00.000-08:00

Day2:
Went to their shopping center yesterday. Practically every where they are selling winter clothes. Not that tempted to buy. But some are really nice but its expensive and if i wear that in Singapore, I will suffer from heat stroke.Had steamboat yesterday, but i super no appitite. But its quite nice though. The day is shorter in winter country, hence we leave our hotel like noon time and come back like before 8pm! haha. We went to the salon and wash our hair and its like RMB10 bucks. Super cheap..

Day3:
Went to the city center today. Was looking around for winter clothess Thats the fashion now. Went to this Coffee place. Just pay RMB25 and we can get free flow of drinks, tibits, ice cream. And we sat there for 3 hrs. And we had Tang Yuan casue today its Dong Zhi.
And i just had an hour of leg massage in our room! so comfortable now...

Winter Holiday Day 1

2008-12-19T06:40:00.000-08:00

Hi! Karen is now in China.
I reached Najing Airport about 1pm, the fligh was about 5 hours. Then took a 30min ride from the airport to the Train station. At the station was really packed with PRC la. And all the train tickets were sold out at 2pm so we bought the 7pm ticket. And we got to rot for like soo many hours with our heavy luggage. Both our luggage add up to 54kg! zzzz.. So we rot at KFC for 2 hours plus.
Finally i reach Zhenjiang and right now i'm in the hotel alone! Staying in better hotel alone is fine, but in china hotel a little.. hmmmm..... Well weather was okay today about 10 degree. HEard that over the weekend will be lower... haha.
My right heel hurt so much. Don really know what happen though.
Missing alot of people...

Holiday

2008-12-18T01:39:00.000-08:00

A day of rest today after my last day of job at Liang Court yesterday and lots of partying nights.

I'm flying to Nanjing early in the morning tmrw. My flight is at 7.55am and at Terminal 3. Yeah!
Meeting my girl friends for supper later. Can't wait to meet them again. And patsy my worker is helping me to carrying my luggage to my sister place.

Have fun my friends during this festive season.